you say you want to die but,
you still put that seat belt on
and look both ways before crossing the street
you lock your windows and doors
you would scream if someone was following you late at night
you would run for your life
but you do want to die
you just want to die on your own terms.
the first caterpillar to turn into a butterfly must of been like YOOOOOOOOO
Mother of god. My mom was trying to take a picture of our christmas tree. Being the troll I am, I kept photobombing. She had me sit down to stop and I threw my phone, knowing it’d never work. It worked. We have a picture of our christmas tree with a flying phone
You guys thought I was kidding…
it looks like it’s taking a selfie… #nomakeup #natural #xmas
daughter please stop being so quirky xDD it’s a school night
But M00oOoooM!!! xD I can’t be tamed!! RAWR!!
my sister sent me a text saying “for the next 30 years you have to live with one person in the same room all the time. afterwards you have to kill them. would you choose someone you like or someone you hate?”
I have never been more distraught in my entire life
- 90s Animal Planet: Animals are cool, kids! They can be your friends! But watch out, some are dangerous! Ooh, watch Jeff Corwin handle the most venomous snake in Africa! Aw, look at the tiger babies! Oh, let's learn about conserving the environment! Remember kids, we must respect this planet, because it's the animals' home as well!
- 2013 Animal Planet: ANIMALS WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. And guess what? PARASITES WILL TOO! Yes I know those aren't really animals, I guess. OH YEAH HERE'S SOME PSEUDO-SCIENCE ABOUT BIGFOOT. He's an animal too, right? WATCH THIS WOMAN GET EATEN BY HER PET CHIMPANZEE. ANIMALS ARE SCARY, KIDS. BE CAUTIOUS AROUND YOUR PET LIZARD OK. oh look kittens!
- 90s History Channel: Here kids, we're gonna talk about this society today. History from all time periods and all countries. Isn't this stuff fascinating? Watch us dig up a tomb!
- Early 2000's History Channel: So there's this guy named Hitler. And he's pretty bad. Let us tell you how bad Hitler is. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. More Hiltler. Hey have you heard about this guy named Hitler?
- 2013 History Channel: Aliens moonshiners aliens rednecks aliens pawnshops aliens aliens aliens hey have we mentioned aliens because aliens
- fetuses do not think
- they do not “scream out” when they are aborted
- they have no brain function and no nerve endings until long after the deadline for a legal abortion
- they aren’t “sad” when you abort them
- they do not “realize what is happening”
And these aren’t my beliefs, they’re scientific facts